You will recall, I'm sure, how back in October I was doing posts on my daily output of work on The Durand Cousins. I stopped doing that when my third draft came to a screeching halt because I didn't have an ending. (And because my computer guy complained that I was boring him to death.)
Well, I'm rapidly approaching the end of the fourth draft, though the ending will actually be a first draft because while it will be my third ending, I never actually wrote either of the first two. I'm revising away on all this stuff I was cranking out like mad and feeling so good about a couple of months ago, and thinking, Oh, man. Whatever made me think this was worth writing down?
A lot of stuff is going. A new thread is being added. And now I'm wondering whatever is making me think this new stuff is worth writing down? If the stuff I thought was so great a couple of months ago, wasn't, what makes me think this is any better?
Though, actually, to be honest, a couple of months ago I was just trying to generate words. That may not have been a bad idea. We won't know for another few months. Or even a year. Like they say, only time will tell. It's hard to have to rely on time's judgment.
Oh, this sounds SO familiar! I can't even put a number to my "drafts" now because I seldom manage to write through to the end so that I can really call it "a draft" -- but I think that the first half of the book, which I am reworking right now, might be draft 812 or something, and I REMEMBER how excited I once was by the ideas and the plot, but I just can't get excited anymore. I can remember when they were new and fun, but I can't FEEL it. Just trying to keep the faith that in those early days of excitement, I understood something that is lost to me now -- but that hopefully others WILL see when they read it for the first time. Oy. I wish there was a magical device that could temporarily wipe my brain slate clean so I could read my manuscript with fresh eyes! Good luck to you on your draft!
ReplyDeletep.s. Above comment? Yeah, not so much on-topic.
Ah, but your comment, Laini, is perfect. You understand me.
ReplyDeleteYes, somewhere around partial draft 800 I start to feel, "Ah, who thought this was a good idea?" But what are you going to do? Forget about it after months and months of work so you can go through the same thing with another book? No! We're professionals! We work through to an end if we have to finish it on our hands and knees.