Monday, April 11, 2005

I Knew Something Was Wrong

For weeks, maybe even a month or two, I've had a feeling of doom regarding my career. Even though I have a new book coming out next spring, I've just had this sense that something wasn't quite right with my publishing house. More specifically, I've been thinking that the people there hate my guts. Though I had absolutely nothing to base this on. But when you have a sense of doom, people hating you could be causing it. It could happen.

Well, today I got the news that there's a little shake-up at my publisher, that someone near and dear to me is moving on to a new job. This has nothing to do with me. She's not leaving because she hates me, and we may work together again at some future time. But my sense of security--what was left of it--is shot to smithereens.

And I knew it was coming! I had the doom thing going, I just misunderstood it.

Plus I have those six manuscripts that may or may not be under consideration at various journals, magazines, and e-zines. I've been feeling that all that effort is doomed, too. Now I must send out even more manuscripts to more publishers to make myself feel that I am doing something to salvage my career.

But they'll only be doomed, too.

Oh, my gosh. I've got to go do a mile or so on the tread mill and maybe a little weight work. Boy, do I need an endorphin surge.

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