Time Management Tuesday: Don't Be Ashamed

A few years ago, I wrote about time shaming, the attitude that writers who struggle with finding time to write are weak with no future. The writer being shamed may even be portrayed as suffering from some kind of moral failing.

Writers Aren't The Only People Who Get Time Shamed

Recently, I was listening to a talk on finding time for yoga. The speaker had "guru" attached to his name. Someone (a woman, the guru said when he wrapped up) forwarded a question to him at what may have been a public forum. She got up at 6 AM each morning, she explained, cooked, got her children ready for school, left for work around 8:30, was home by 6:30, dealt with the children and herself transitioning home, prayed, cooked, dealt with homework, and went to bed. How could she fit yoga into her life?

Well.

Over the course of five or six minutes, this guru told the poor soul that she had time to eat and gossip. I have no idea where the gossip thing came from, but I think he was implying she could give up either of those activities and, voila, yoga time. He also said that she acted like a martyr, taking care of everything but herself.  Unless you actually are killed for others, "martyr" almost always has negative connotations. If the woman  really was concerned about her children, she would want to provide them with a loving atmosphere (with yoga?) rather than material things (purchased with the wages of her work, which was keeping her from yoga?). She was told that she needed to look at the fundamentals of her life. Also, if her body and mind were more organized, she could get rid of unnecessary action and have more time. Though he had nothing to say about how to do that.

Finally, he told her to get up at 5:30 to fit yoga into her life. I can't imagine someone being able to get out of bed at any time after being told all that.

I'm sure you can see why this reminded me of the kind of time shaming I've heard addressed toward writers.

What To Consider If You Are Time Shamed

Speakers/writers addressing writing and time who say things like:

• If writing was really important to you, you'd find time.
• It's your dream...surely you can find time for your dream.
• You say you don't have time, you're too tired, your job is too consuming, your children need you...excuses!
• Well, you have time to eat and gossip.

are probably talking like that because they have no knowledge of the research/studies/writing on:

• procrastination
• willpower/self-discipline
• well-known productivity techniques
• technological assistance
• distress tolerance
• the impact of prep systems on writing time
• completion bias and how to deal with it 

I could go on and on, but I don't have any more time. And don't get any ideas about making me feel ashamed about that.

My point is that there is so much time shamers could tell writers, and those who want to work yoga into their lives, that would have the potential to really help them. And yet they shame, instead.

That doesn't mean we have to accept it from them.

A Time Management Tuesday Rerun: Time Shaming

I've got a substantial start on this week's Time Management Tuesday post. Nonetheless, it's not going to happen. I'm running out of time.

Yes, I am feeling a little chagrined about that. So today, rather appropriately I think,  we're going to recall a post originally published in March, 2015...

 Time Shaming.

Things I Can Say About MFA Writing Programs Now That I No Longer Teach In One by Ryan Boudinot received quite a bit of attention, of one kind or another, from two different groups on my Facebook wall this past week. I have never been part of a MFA program, so I can't even pretend to address what he has to say about them. I will, however, address what he had to say about time.

Yeah, That Was Harsh

"If you complain about not having time to write," Boudinot said in bold, "please do us both a favor and drop out." While expanding on that thought, he said, "My experience tells me this: Students who ask a lot of questions about time management, blow deadlines, and whine about how complicated their lives are should just give up and do something else. Their complaints are an insult to the writers who managed to produce great work under far more difficult conditions than the 21st-century MFA student."

Talk about insulting.

I have heard others disparage people with, shall we say, "time management issues." They seem to believe that those who can't manage their time suffer from some kind of moral failing. Certainly, they are "other," not like the people who perceive themselves as being time masters.

Why Time Shaming Is So Very Odd

 

What I find particularly interesting about this situation is that there are so many workable time management techniques. Psychologists have studied procrastination and impulse control problems it is related to. There is even writing process related to writing faster, which has a definite impact on how much writers can do with the time they have. Why, then, do people in positions to help writers treat those who wonder how they can find the time to write as if they just lost some kind of life lottery by merely asking the question?

I can only speculate, of course.

1. We are a very them-or-us type of culture.  "I write at the drop of a hat, you don't. I know I'm good, so you must be bad." See also: Organic vs. plotting writers. Lots of arguments over whether or not one writing method is better than the other.
2. The shamers simply don't know anything about time management. Not knowing something makes them uncomfortable, knocking down someone else makes them feel better.

One final speculative question:  Why not teach writers how to manage their time?