Why, Yes, I AM Grateful For All The End Of The Year Rejection, Which Has Continued Into This Month

My retreat reading spot

I work on gratitude with some of the younger members of the family. It used to be that gratitude was admired because lack of gratitude was perceived as ugly. Selfish and greedy. It turns out, though, that gratitude is an important part of spirituality. It's an important part of happiness. I think it's part of the Buddhist thing about unhappiness being caused by desire. Lack of gratitude, always wanting more, is not a very happy state. Finding something to be grateful for, like the headache you had yesterday went away on its own or the gluten free blueberry pancakes you made Monday turned out great, is significant.

So, yes, I AM grateful for the seven rejections I received in December and the two I received yesterday within fourteen minutes. I'm also grateful that the two pieces published in December didn't do well.

And Why? 

We have had many, many years...so many...when family members have died in December. Or they've been dying in December. Or they've been waiting for medical tests to see if they're dying or facing a hellish year to avoid dying. Except for a seven-year-old who spent the evening in a pediatric ED waiting to see if he had appendicitis, we had none of that this year. And that boy discovered Captain Underpants while watching a CU movie while waiting for his test results, so he probably feels he got some gain from the experience.

So, if me taking a number of rejection bullets for the family meant I was able to change our end of the year experience, I am happy to have done it. And, damn it, don't anybody try to tell me that life is random, and all that rejection was meaningless, like life, and that I didn't make a meaningful sacrifice, because I did, I tell you. I am grateful. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Retreat Week Is Next Week!

I am definitely looking forward to retreat week, though. A retreat week in which all I'm escaping is rejection and can get over that with reading and walking or snowshoeing and more reading and meditation and more reading. Ommidy omm ommm. 

I spent some time this morning revising one of my December writing starts, I've written this blog post, and I'm going to be spending most of the rest of the day prepping for retreat. Because, man, getting ready for retreat week is a lot of work.

For which I am grateful.