My First Publication Of 2024.

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My first publication of the year is a humor piece, Useful French Phrases For Madame Keith's World Languages Class at Slackjaw. And, of course, there is a story behind this piece, because there is always a story behind everything I write. For books there are usually multiple stories, and, sadly, I often can't remember them all because it takes me so flipping long to write books.

But I've got this one.

The Story Behind Useful French Phrases For Madame Keith's World Languages Class

I have been studying French moi-meme for years. By moi-meme I mean, really, myself, because I haven't taken a real French class or even an adult ed class in decades. J'etude de temps en temps, sometimes going years without making an effort. In fact, for the last few years studying French for me has involved watching French TV shows with English subtitles. Je me dit, "You're studying, you!" Mon objectif, because of course I have a goal, is to speak pig French, a term used by Marcel, a man I knew briefly years ago, or even rise up to franglais, which I understand is common with some of my family members in Ottawa. But let's be honest. I'll be satistifed to parle comme un couchon.

That's background. Psychological background, you might say.

Okay, last September I was on the Cape (That's Cape Cod, if you're in New England. There are other Capes, I'm sure.) and playing Monopoly with an eleven-year-old family member. The Monopoly part is important. We're chatting away (I don't care much for Monopoly so don't feel any need to concentrate while playing it), and it comes out that said eleven-year-old family member is taking a world languages class. And what is the first unit? You guessed it! French!

I'm sitting there thinking, I have someone to practice French with? Comment je dit "your turn?"  "How do I say" should probably have another verb in there, but, remember, I'm only shooting for pig French and "How I say?" is all I can manage.

So that got me thinking about kids and French and French classes. And the Monopoly game is important, because there is a section in Useful French Phrases on playing games. Our eleven-year-old is in sixth grade, but I kicked the speaker in Useful French Phrases up to seventh, thinking that would be more believable for the amount of French being used.

While I checked all the French phrases on Google (I didn't replace my last French-English dictionary when it fell apart, because I like Google so much) most of the French I used is at least familiar to me.

While You're Waiting For Me To Write Something Substantive

I have more Getting Serious About Humor posts to do, but they require a little more thought and effort than I have in me right now, because I am within weeks of finishing the first draft of a book I've been working on for four years. I truly know what that saying about horses picking up the pace when they're within sight of their barn means. It's all I want to put time and work into right now.

In the meantime, I can tell you that I've been reading Julia Child's memoir, My
Life in France . When I started it, I wondered when Julia would mention her cat, Minette, who got her own book in 2012 with Susanna Reich's Minette's Feast. (What happened to my copy? Je ne sais pas!) She mentioned her very early on, and Minette keeps coming up.

On a kind of related note, I've been becoming friendly on Facebook with one of my second cousins in Ottawa. I've known her mother, my first cousin once removed, I believe, for years. Yesterday she mentioned Frenglish, in which she says her family is fluent. As in she can toujour  tell when sa mere is speaking to sa tante sur le telephone, because she never uses a complete sentence dan either langue. My French est plus mauvais, so maintenant I'm thinking peut-etre Frenglish should be my goal.

However, there is something else called Franglais, and if you scroll down on this article, you'll see it's not the same as what is spoken in Canada, presumably the Frenglish of which ma cousine spoke.

I may be becoming more confused. I should just go back to working on that livre.

Multi-Media Fun

I've been watching Dix Pour Cent (known as Call My Agent on Netflix). It's a French TV show about an agency of actors' (not writers') agents. It's in French with English subtitles, which gives me a chance to pick up a (very) few French phrases ( parce que mon francais est tres mauvais).  It is a very entertaining show. Those agents do carry on.

Watching foreign TV shows with subtitles is relaxing, because I can't do anything while doing it excupt read said subtitles. This explains why I watched two seasons of a show from Iceland.

Today I listened to Suzie Townsend & Ten Questions with a Literary Agent, a Write or Die podcast. It's a totally different experience. Nothing to see, nothing to read. What Townsend has to say about agents' assistants made me think of the agents' assistants in  Dix Pour Cent, though.

Agents' assistants appear to do a great deal.